And to my mannn, THANK YOU to my mannn...

Rose are red,

Violets are blue,

It's not always about me,

and he's sacrificing too.

Valentine's Day was last Friday but my husband came home from a week of away games at 11:30pm on Saturday night. So like some of you, I too had to imagine sitting across from him at a fancy dinner on Friday night while I airplane fed our 7 month old instead. Still cute...but not at all the same. Lol. Now, don't get me wrong, like ALWAYS, he made it happen from miles away and gave me the sweetest and most thoughtful gift. Seriously...a true pumpkin! And while I obviously would've preferred for him to be home with us, I couldn't help but to appreciate that he never forgets to look back...while making a way forward for our family.

It's not JUST basketball with the guys...it's his career, his dream and our bread and butter. It's our ticket to experiencing the world and literally allowing life to school us. Even in moments where resentment slip in and the lows feel low, the highs are incredibly worth it. Honestly, I've been working on focusing more on those. I've also been working on understanding that I'm not the only one sacrificing in this lifestyle.

My husband is as well and even still...no matter what...he always makes it happen.

It's incredibly easy to see me as the one who gets the shorter end of the stick when it comes to giving up everything at home to move overseas. Truth be told, in some cases, it's true. We're living in HIS dream that became mine as well over time. Seasons in married life require a little more from each person at different times and that's okay. It's my turn to toughen out unique trenches like postpartum and missing home even more because of it. However, as a wife over here, I not only get tickets to games, I get to sit on the sidelines watching him play through the struggles and pressure he feels to perform and provide for us. Missing a shot holds a lot more weight to it now.

He not only has to be on top of his game physically, as a husband, pro-baller and now a dad, he has to prepare and BODY this season with excellence in preparation for NEXT year's prospects. THAT is not easy.THAT is not light work. THAT is why I will absolutely state my very valid concerns, but work to never complain. Please trust that he and I do talk and I very clearly state what I'm feeling and what I need. But I'm also learning to acknowledge that I'm not the only one who feels the sting of long distance when we're apart and now that we have Lai, we both feel it even more. He TOO misses family back home and is disappointed when we miss milestone events celebrating loved ones. While living life overseas for ball is a choice and one we don't usually mind, it comes with it's things. He also feels those...things.

Sis, I get it. If I don't hear another sneaker screech across the court or smell another gym bag for months, I would be completely fine. It gets tough out here and the Lord knows anything they can do, we can do WHILE being their wives. Lol. But...while he's out there taping up his back, straining muscles and getting stitches, I'm taking walks with Lai, blowing raspberries on her little belly and writing blogs. Lol. I'm sipping café lattes and downing pastries like there's no tomorrow. My only deadline is Lai's bedtime. I don't have to wake up and commute to a job I hate. I have everything I need and time to provide for and take care of my household the way I want/need to. Essentially, I'm living the life; the mommy life I never knew I'd love or need until she was here. Of course we make adjustments along the way but ya'll, he always makes it happen inspite of!

I'm grateful that he keeps pushing even when it's hard. He wakes up with the baby at night like I do. He's skipping naps and doing bath time with our daughter like I do. He's coming home after practice and is immediately in daddy mode. He's coming straight home from away games and handling business. It inspires me to do the same in my position.

Sidebar: If you're anything like me, it took FOREVER to let go of feeling "less than" because I wasn't contributing financially after years of working and taking care of myself. It took me FOREVER to let people's words roll off my back. It took forever to let him carry me. Yes, I absolutely want to contribute financially and I absolutely do have goals and dreams to continue pursuing. I'm not dead. Lol. Right now though? I'm an overseas basketball wife and stay-at-home mom who keeps it all together with the greatest supporter and cheerleader backing me. Praying and hustling for us. This is OUR understanding. This is how WE do life and that is okay.

Don't ever let anyone, to include yourself, convince you that the soft life isn't for you. Period. ESPECIALLY because this can sometimes be the hardest lifestyle. If your man got it, let him have it babyyyyyyyy! 😂 But remember that in order for him to have it, and for you to have it, he has to sacrifice a ton as well. Truuuuuuuusssstttt meeee when I tell you it is a process of humility that I have to go through when he naps on game days. Lol. I feel you sis, but he needs that to go do what he has to do and he does it well. I'm grateful for that.

We'll talk about how we can take care of ourselves during hard times in the next blog but this one is for our players. This one is about shifting our perspectives when we're set on settling in the dark places this lifestyle can sometimes bring us. It's about shifting our perspectives when we think we're the only ones dealing. We aren't.

THANK YOU to my husband for going out into a world that judges, scrutinizes and breaks you down everyday to do what you do for us. THANK YOU for sacrificing and remaining steady in a career full of uncertainty. THANK YOU for seeking the Lord and covering our family. THANK YOU for every Facetime call and tank full of gas before you leave. THANK YOU for every investment and smart money move. Thank you for always saying "Thank you" and seeing me too. Stephen Brown Jr. I LOVE YOU!

Happy FIBA break, qualifiers, season game and prep for playoffs!

See you on the the Sidelines sis,