Postpartum Paint...

Been putting pressure on myself to write something catchy and fun; something exciting that would scream "I'M BACK!!" but all I can really do is express that "I'M HERE!". Can't promise any of the other things. Lol.

It's been about 7/8 months since I've last written to you and honestly... I was initially disappointed that it had been that long. My goal was to be consistent, fluent in weekly posts and clear in my thoughts. For awhile, I felt that I failed at this and I kept paying my monthly blog prescription fee just to curve the shame. Lol. BUT you guys...I SERIOUSLY underestimated the severity of the healing process and time required to survive those early stages of postpartum. -sweats- So now that I'm 6 months PP, I'm not stressing the time away so much. I couldn't focus if I tried and my intrusive thoughts are through the roof! Missed ya'll tho. Let's catch up...

For starters...WOAH. O_O. I've binged childbirth videos, scowered Tiktok for info as if my usage alone would save it from this administration and googled my little ovaries off BUT NOTHING could've prepared me for the reality of pushing a baby out of my coochie bones. Those labor pains were absolutely indescribable and seeing my baby girl come out as a whole little human was SURREAL. I couldn't believe that the little dot on a screen became this little person who was latching onto my nipples and ripping them apart within minutes of being born. So many bodily fluids and so many ruined towels/sheets. :/ I've never had so many people be that eager to get. in. my. draws. Lol...but I happily let them after what we'd all been through together. I honestly wish I could be best friends with my L&D and PP nurses because baaaayyyybbbeeeee, they got all up in my literal business and took such good care of me. God bless their stomachs cuz ain't no wayyyyyy.

I had the most amazing doula who got on her actual hands and knees to coach me through it all. She kept God in the room. My mom, sister and mama-in-love were there witnessing the whole thing and risking their ear drums to support and love on us. AND TO MY MAN...thank you to my mannnnn... He held it down even through all the worry and control he had to relinquish. I know that was hard for him to do but this was my part of the bargain and with his support, I held it up. I'm so grateful for our parents for stepping in to teach us how to do this and for answering all of my new mom questions and for my sisters who are the most amazing aunties. I wouldn't have survived those early stages of PP without their love and obession with little Laiah. <3

Now we're in our first new country after having Lai and life is so different overseas. I've missed quite a few basketball games (never thought I'd see the day) and I haven't even thought about make-up. Honestly, I'm happy to just do a fresh sloppy bun. I also have to admit that I do comtemplate whether to change my throw-up covered clothes or create more laundry for myself later but apparently that's a normal comtemplation at this stage of parenthood. Lol. I'm really working on giving myself grace through this whole experience because while it's been done...I'VE never done it. Grateful to have witnessed so many amazing overseas SAH-WAGS do this and even more grateful for all of the support and advice my fellow WAGS have offered. So many of you have looked out! Even still, there's nothing like experiencing mommy-life overseas and away from everything familiar for yourself. Like going to a doctor's appointment for Lai without using my Google Translate would be a treat but it's okay! We're making do. I really like where we are this season and Lai's little smiles and toes make it all worth it.

Oh! We're still doing our little mini-staycations and traveling on hubby's off days! We chose to slow down -yes- but not completely STOP our travels and explorations. We just amend them ya know? Otherwise, we'd be miserable and anyone who knows this Northern European lifestyle knows that the cabin fever gets INTENSE the moment Winter hits. -4:30pm sunsets are actually insane.-

Considering we don't have our village, we're doing pretty well! Sleep deprived...but well. Nervous...but well. Tiktok and ChatGPT are raising Lai. Lol. My edges are indeed back and I'm healing but my back KILLS. I DO love that majority of my PP healing is in Europe though because everything requires walking. It's like a built-in workout plan every time I want a pastry and I can get down with that. I'm rambling but I say all that to say I'm half surviving and half thriving. THAT'S REALLY GOOD FOR 6 MONTHS POSTPARTUM. Literally taking it one day at a time and that's absolutely okay.

I do want to get deeper into my pp experience with you, especially while living overseas, because I know so many of you can relate. That's not this blog though. I just wanted to jump back in the game and share that I'm here. :)

I love you ladies!

From the new mom trenches and survival sidelines,